me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet
sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD
AIR FORCE HUA
cool kid problem #38: having to stop in the middle of sex because you remembered a really funny meme and can’t stop laughing
Filming a rainbow when suddenly.
what the fuck
the gays are angry
Potter Puppet Pals is still the best.
He’s got to be some kind of ancient God of beauty because this is ridiculous.
Petition for him to play a swashbuckling pirate or a starship captain or an ancient gladiator or, really, ANYTHING where we can just look at him and drool and dream for ninety minutes.
i wonder what it feels like to be the most beautiful man in the world